Mother’s Day When You Don’t Have a Mom

Mother’s Day When You Don’t Have a Mom

My mom and I did not always get along perfectly. Our relationship was frustrating sometimes. I know she felt just as frustrated with me as I did with her. With that said there was nothing we would not have done for each other. She much more for me, than I for her.

She was tough but for good reason. She made me figure out how to get out of some tough situations on my own and at those times I did not really think she was helping me. But she was…

She was helping me become a solution seeker, a problem solver, she was guiding me to be independent. To be strong, to understand that no matter what whacky decision I made, if it wasn’t the right decision there would always be a solution and I would not be the person I am today if I relied on other’s to fix my problems or unravel my mistakes. With more importance, LEARN from my misgivings.

My mom was not flamboyant or fancy. She lived a simple life and asked for nothing. She lost her husband (my dad) when they were both just 38 years old. She never dated, she never remarried. She loved Eric (my brother) and I. She was a good mom. And while her heart was broken she never let us see her pain.

She was funny, extremely funny in her Jackie way, she did not take bullshit from anyone. She loved her job, she came across as a force not to be reckoned with, but if you truly knew her and she allowed you in her circle, she would have you laughing hysterically one minute while giving you the “what for” the next minute.
Jackie has been heavy on my heart lately and as the grief for my brother consumed me, my thoughts of her were put aside. In all regard this is so like her, she would have wanted me to put Eric first.

It’s very easy to feel a bit of resentment on a holiday like Mother’s Day when your mom is not here.

As time goes by I’ve learned to turn negative emotions of resentment and jealousy into gratitude. Gratitude helps me remember and appreciate all the beautiful things she taught me, all the gifts of wisdom she gave me. Gratitude gives me the courage to be strong. And with this strength finding goodness and beauty within this life without her, without my dad, without my brother becomes easier. Gratitude gives me peace, hope and the willingness to keep going and to keep fighting for that strength she instilled within me.

On this Mother’s Day – my heart goes out to all of you who have lost your mom’s.

Celebrate your mother’s life, light a candle, she’s still watching, she’s still guiding, open your heart and accept the signs she gives you. Most often these times are the hardest for us, we can’t help thinking about everything our mom’s are missing but I know in my heart they are not missing anything.

And if your mom is still with you – take a moment and make an extra effort. I know my mom would have rather spent time with me than receive a gift from me. She would have loved to be reminded of a special time we shared. She would have loved a special photo. She would have loved for me to work in her flower beds. She would have loved for me to take her to The Sizzler.

Jackie raised me to believe in angels. She was right and I do.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mom’s out there, enjoy YOUR day with your loved ones.

Mother’s Day When you don’t have a mom.

My mom and I did not always get along perfectly. Our relationship was frustrating sometimes. I know she felt just as frustrated with me as I did with her. With that said there was nothing we would not have done for each other. She much more for me, than I for her.

She was tough but for good reason. She made me figure out how to get out of some tough situations on my own and at those times I did not really think she was helping me. But she was…

She was helping me become a solution seeker, a problem solver, she was guiding me to be independent. To be strong, to understand that no matter what whacky decision I made, if it wasn’t the right decision there would always be a solution and I would not be the person I am today if I relied on other’s to fix my problems or unravel my mistakes. With more importance, LEARN from my misgivings.

My mom was not flamboyant or fancy. She lived a simple life and asked for nothing. She lost her husband (my dad) when they were both just 38 years old. She never dated, she never remarried. She loved Eric and I, she was a good mom. And while her heart was broken she never let us see her pain.

She was funny, extremely funny in her Jackie way, she did not take bullshit from anyone. She loved her job, she came across as a force not to be reckoned with, but if you truly knew her and she allowed you in her circle, she would have you laughing hysterically one minute while giving you the “what for” the next minute.
Jackie has been heavy on my heart lately and as the grief for my brother consumed me, my thoughts of her were put aside. In all regard this is so like her, she would have wanted me to put Eric first.

It’s very easy to feel a bit of resentment on a holiday like Mother’s Day when your mom is not here.

As time goes by I’ve learned to turn negative emotions of resentment and jealousy into gratitude. Gratitude helps me remember and appreciate all the beautiful things she taught me, all the gifts of wisdom she gave me. Gratitude gives me the courage to be strong. And with this strength finding goodness and beauty within this life without her, without my dad, without my brother becomes easier. Gratitude gives me peace, hope and the willingness to keep going and to keep fighting for that strength she instilled within me.

On this Mother’s Day – my heart goes out to all of you who have lost your mom’s.

Celebrate your mother’s life, light a candle, she’s still watching, she’s still guiding, open your heart and accept the signs she gives you. Most often these times are the hardest for us, we can’t help thinking about everything our mom’s are missing but I know in my heart they are not missing anything.

And if your mom is still with you – take a moment and make an extra effort. I know my mom would have rather spent time with me than receive a gift from me. She would have loved to be reminded of a special time we shared. She would have loved a special photo. She would have loved for me to work in her flower beds. She would have loved for me to take her to The Sizzler.

Jackie raised me to believe in angels. She was right and I do.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mom’s out there, enjoy YOUR day with your loved ones.

Mom

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